My car was full of middle schoolers but was eerily quiet. When I looked in my rearview mirror I saw six kids staring at their phones. Chances are they were on Instagram. If your kids are out of elementary school then they are probably on social media. Heck, I know several kids that are still in elementary school who are on social media. Technically, your child must be 13 before they can have an Instagram or Facebook account, but that rule is not enforced.
Yes, my kids have an Instagram account. No, they don’t have a Facebook account. I’m told that Facebook is for “old people” and middle school kids don’t use it. BTW-Facebook bought Instagram in 2012. If properly monitored by a parent, Instagram can be a fun way for your child to interact with their peers.
So what is Instagram? Per their website, “Instagram is a fun and quirky way to share your life with friends through a series of pictures.”It works like this: after downloading the app and signing up for an account you search for your friends to “follow”. Whenever they post a picture or video to their account you can “like” it or comment on it. In turn, your followers can view and comment on your posts. You can also follow your favorite celebrity, restaurant, or store. My boys follow the NFL, National Geographic and GoPro to name a few.
Instagram is fun!
Some of the commercial accounts post stunning photographs. You can have fun and exercise your creative muscles by applying filters to your own photos. Like Facebook, it is also a great way to see what is happening in your friends’ lives.
Instagram is one of the main ways kids communicate with each other. It is a way to show people in their world who they are becoming as a person. Through pictures they are saying things such as: I like cars, football and fishing, or maybe I have a silly sense of humor, love cats and I’m obsessed with One Direction. Usually nothing too deep, although you can also find them posting about their family or creating “artsy” photos.
Popularity Contest
So, what’s not to love about Instagram? A major concern is that it can intensify middle school angst. We all know that middle school kids crave acceptance and want to fit in. Instagram is a way for them to quantify that feeling. They can become obsessed with how many followers, likes or comments they have. In fact, they often resort to tricks to increase the likes on a post. They will post a picture then write “Like for a TBH”. Their friends will click like on their picture, then the original poster will reciprocate and give their friend a TBH comment. TBH stands for “to be honest”. Examples of TBH comments are “TBH I don’t know you that well but you are very pretty”. “TBH we’ve known each other since 1st grade and ILYSM (I love you so much)” or “TBH you are a great football player”. It is also blatantly clear when you are not included in something when you see all of your friends posting from an event you did not even know about. It’s all the same drama we had to deal with back in the day, but now it is shared for the world to see. When feelings get hurt, as they will in middle school, encourage your child to speak face to face with their friend to resolve the issue.
Rules
In our house we allow our children to have Instagram accounts with the following rules:
- They must share their username and password with us. I am logged on as my child and can see everything he sees and also what he says and posts. I don’t check it every day, don’t want to be a creeper, but I do check it weekly. I want to know that he is using it appropriately.
- They must personally know everyone they follow or are followed by, except the commercial accounts like the NFL. If your child has over 1000 followers, you might want to sit down with them and go through their list of followers to confirm they really know each person.
- No inappropriate pictures or comments. No nudity, cursing, bullying, etc.
- No identifying facts in profile: don’t use full name, don’t post cell phone number, don’t put home address, don’t include school.
- Privacy settings. Make sure that their account is set to private, which means they must approve all followers. Also, turn off “location settings”.
Would Grandma like it?
Remind your children that once they post something on the internet via any platform, it is potentially out there for the rest of their lives. They need to always think twice before posting any picture or comment. In our house I tell them if it is not something they would show or say to their grandmother, then they should not post it. This caveat applies not only to Instagram, but texting, email and any other digital forum.
Instagram is a creative and fun app that with proper monitoring can be enjoyed by all in your family.